HATRED...AND A CONFESSION........

It’s been long since I last thought of you….And today, as I play some music that we used to enjoy together, I remember you….Each of the beats takes me back to the moments we chatted over those….tried tuning into those….and dancing into those tunes….And all I realize, I hate you….I hate you for everything…I hate you for all the memories, good and bad… I hate you for all the tears you brought me, both of happiness and sorrow….I hate you for all the time I spent with you, both joyous and painful….

I hate you for making me dream, and then not helping me realize those….I hate you for making me look into life in a different way, and then making me realize that it was just an illusion…I hate you for making me feel like a Princess one day, and the next, making me face the rude world alone….And most importantly I hate you for loving me, and one day making me dip into sheer illusion, not knowing how to come out….

I hate you for making life so difficult for me….I hate you for making me so vulnerable, so weak on knees and so immature….I hate you for intruding into my life without me knowing, and take the central focus in it….I hate you for making me not realize the truths about life….I hate you for making my fairy tale stories come true….I hate you for making my every smallest wish come true….

I hate you for making me know the best feelings on earth….I hate you for making me happy like never before…I hate you for making me see the world in the best way possible…I hate you for making me paint my life with the best of the colours in the prettiest of the canvases. ..

I hate you for making me chase butterflies in dreams…I hate you for letting me play with only lights and never with the shades….I hate you for making me see the blooming flowers and not the dry leaves…I hate you for making me believe that the world is beautiful no matter what….

But, my hatred for you doubles; when I realize one day you made me realize that all you had made me build faith on were nothing but illusions….My hatred multiplies, when I realize it is mere impossible to just come back to the point where it all started; it is impossible to start everything all over again; it is impossible to just let things go and move on; it is impossible to just not recalling any of it all….

Yes, I hate you for everything said and done….Everything that makes me realize how much I was into you…Everything that makes me realize that how much more I will suffer in my coming days….And most importantly, I hate you cuz, I know I will stay this way all my life…Cuz I will always believe that you were real, and everything you did were for real…And no matter what, that will always make my hate you even more…..

PS. To the ones I loved with all my heart and who loved me back....

AN HONEST ACCEPTANCE...AND THE TRUTH BEHIND.........

Yes…I’m a girl….Yes I’m complicated…Yes I’m difficult to deal with…
I do things most of you feel are useless…I do things that you never feel are logical…I do things which are highly inappropriate to go with that particulAr situation…I do things which are childish…I do things that hardy makes sense for an average adult…
I read Cecilia and cry with Holly knowing she never exists.….I watch Enchanted and dream about fairytales knowing they happen only in flicks…I tune with Avril, and believe that I play better than her knowing that I hardly can hold the guitar….I hum with Taylor and believe in Love Stories knowing that those are just plain luck….
I believe that people around me will think of me the way I do for them although I see the truth that they don’t.…..I believe there cannot be anyone who thinks bad of anyone although I know it is simply the other way around.….I believe nobody on earth should go through pain although I know everybody has to deal with lot of those…
I drink my iceberg and break the glass and end up paying for it….I eat chocolates and keep the wrapper as it makes me sad to throw it away…..I eat calories and next 2 hours keep promising to myself that, I will never repeat it…..I love the chocolates that come inside the gift wrappers than the ones that I buy…
I love it when you buy flowers for me, not when you plan a five course dinner for me…I love it when you feed me knowing that is ridiculous of me….I go shopping and end up buying cookies instead of dinner….I forget about the boiling milk on the stove when I sit in front of the television….
I get angry and shout at the top of my voice not caring for your peace of mind…I get irritated and start eating chocolates foRgetting about diet…I get wild and break the glasses not realizing I will miss them once they are gone….I get hyper and try boxing you not accepting that I can never defeat you…I feel sad and cry on your shoulder not bothering you have something important to attend….I land in problem and keep hoping that you will come and save me regardless of the depth of it…..I don’t sleep thinking you will call up and sing a song for me…
I do things which makes you feel I’m worthless and stupid…..
But then, I run to you when you are in trouble…I never sleep when you cant sleep making your presentations…I don’t care about my nails and feed you when you are not well…. I don’t eat when you don’t get time to eat…. I cry when you feel helpless…. I stay awake when you have nightmares…. I try making dinner for you, when it is your special day…
I make you sleep on my lap when you look sad….I buy gifts for you with my pocket money….I travel to unknown places to get a glimpse of you….I go pray everyday for your safety….I love you despite of knowing that you don’t any more…I wait for the happy time to come…I wait for my dreams to be true….

I do things that don’t hold any importance in a practical life…I do things which make others believe I’m foolish and unreal…I do things which you don’t think anyone should think…I do things that make you feel I’m immature to the core….
But then, I have a heart that never see bad…I have a heart that cries for the smallest pain in anyone…I have a mind that never lets others fall in trouble…I have a mind that never thinks bad of others….

Yes, I’m a girl….With lots negatives…Less positives….But I’m pure at heart…I’m true at heart….I have a fresh mind…I have a true mind…..Yes, I’m a girl….And I’m proud of it…

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU............

Everybody talks about love these days....And why not.....Valentine's Month is running and so does the air get fragrant with LOVE..........And everyone, indifferent of their age are humming to the tune of love...Everybody is happy.....Everybody is content....and....Everybody is trying their best to make up for all the time they ignored the small happiness of their partner....And the success of all the effort comes alive, with the heartfelt smile on the lips of the person for whom all the efforts were planned.....


Well….there was a time, when this days meant so much for me….Only reason being I took the pleasure of making some stupid, idiotic but honest attempts to make my LOVE happy….Well, the truth is I might have really not known the real meaning of what that particular word meant….But all I could understand that I should do my best to make an effort to make up for all the time I made the other person cry, get angry and curse himself for choosing to be with me….


In making those attempts what I didn’t realize is that love is not about celebrating just a day of happiness and glossy feelings, but is about making small happiness possible each and every day…..What I didn’t realize is that love is all about making the other person feel that he has someone on whom he can trust even during his worst time….What I didn’t realize is love is all about handling things in a way to make them just incidents of life, not accidents….And by the time the realization of these simple facts started blooming in me, perhaps it was too late…..


Today when everybody is celebrating love, and I’m busy analyzing my way of understanding the same, then and now, I find myself at faults for most of the things…..I find myself to be an arrogant little brat, who just made others life impossible and who just knew nothing about doing anything for others…That might not probably be my fault entirely, as I was not even considered given a chance to change myself any day, but the story ends at the point when things go wrong, without a conclusion….And that remains a fact for always….


Today, I’m writing this to let all the people who ever loved me and bore all my arrogance till their last level of limit, that I was wrong in many ways….I was wrong in every way might be…But there is a fact you all should know, and that will always remain so…And that’s that, I still feel for you the way I always did..I still feel you are the best thing that ever could happen to me…… And I’m grateful to all the sources that it happened….


On this day of love, just wish wherever you are, just stay happy….Thanks for all the memories you gave me….Thanks for all the time you shared with me….And thanks for making me feel like a Princess…..And most importantly thanks for making me strong and a fighter for life....Wish, life brings you all the goodness and ushers you with the best in everything....Wish love finds you the best way possible, and most importantly stay beloved always.....


Happy Valentine's Day to you all..................


P.S. This is my last V Day note this season......Wish love find you all the lovely people there.....and stays with you for life long........

LOVE...AND A FLOATING THOUGHT.....

Love…the feeling that takes anyone to a different heights of emotion…the feeling that makes one see the world with different eyes…Love…the feeling that makes one stand tall in the midst of any calamity…the feeling that makes one stable in the midst of chaos….The feeling so pure….so true….so overwhelming….so exhilarating….and most importantly so encouraging….
Love doesn’t demand commitment, it teaches you that….Love doesn’t demand loyalty; it teaches you that….Love doesn’t demand anything…but it teaches you everything….Love makes you strong, love makes you inspired, love makes you overcome the anxieties of life….
People demand, love is situational; I say it is beyond any situations…if you cannot retain your love for someone just because you believe the situation is not right, you never loved that person…when you love, you love….you do not need to see what is stored next….And if your love change cuz you feel that, that is a demand of the circumstances, you are wrong…instead the truth is you never loved that person, rather, you thought you loved him/her. Cuz the truth is love never changes, love never dies and most importantly love never teaches you to betray the faith of the other person…
Loving someone is one of the most difficult experiences one could ever have…At times your hearts match, but minds do not….and you lead to have some of the silliest arguments in life….At other times you are led to have fictions over facts, so transparent and beyond honesty….At some other times you are so very compatible with each other that you get tired of not having any dissimilarity…..But the truth is, when you love, you love without really even getting bothered to criticize that person, and true love lies in that….
Everyone has their own limitations…each of us is born and brought up in a background and environment that is completely unique to others….And so does the mindsets that we develop…But despite of all these factors if you can love someone the way he or she is, that is love…And nothing can change that feeling…no matter what….No matter, even if you know that he or she is miles away from being the perfect person on earth…even if you know that he or she has every fault you can ever imagine…No matter even if that person gives you hell of a time at times…even if that person makes you feel like crusading him/her at times….or even if that person runs your patience dry on most of the occasions….At the end of the show, these facts don’t really matter…what matters is that you love him/her and that is beyond these mundane incidents and accidents of life.
If you promised someone to love him/her today, make sure that you do for your lifetime…Cuz, when you promise, you make a commitment for lifetime, and you never know, the other person might take that promise as his or her EVERYTHING….
So, this Valentine’s day, let’s make a wish….Lets wish, everyone on this earth find their soul mate to share their life with….Lets wish, no matter what, in every situation, LOVE WINS…Lets wish, no matter what nobody abandons nobody…Let’s wish, no matter what everybody keeps their promises made to the other person….Let’s wish, no matter what love doesn’t turn out to be a victim of circumstances….And most importantly, lets wish, love brings all the positive vibes to everyone’s life….and bless everyone to see the beauty it blends to everything in life….

FOR THE ONES WHOM I LOVE.....A TRIBUTE TO YOU ALL....

I know, for few of you it will be too late to look back and forgive me, for all the time that I could not make you feel that I loved you with all my heart….For some others it will be too difficult to understand what did my love mean when all I did was throw unlimited tantrums and scared the hell out with those…..For some others it will be just a unbelievable truth if I say I really felt for them…..And the list goes on….And the truth is no one would really feel I ever could love them, but today I want to take this chance to let them know, that I have loved them all through my life…..I have loved them from the core of my heart….And most importantly I have loved them, without expecting them to love me back…..And here is my time to put an effort to tell every one of you, how much you mean to me….

There are times, I miss out to recall your special moments and miss out wishing on that….There are times I miss out to see your tears and miss out wiping them off….There are times I miss out to see you longing for a shoulder to cry on and miss out lending mine….But, that is never intentional……Given a chance and a choice, my heart longs to go back to each of those moments when I missed out doing something for you, and do everything that is in my calibre…Given a choice, I would go back to those sources which made you suffer and just destroy their existence…Given a choice I would never ever let you guys shed a drop of your tears…….But the truth is, it is too late….And it is too late to even make up for all the times that I kept taking you guys for granted…Kept taking your pain for granted….Kept taking your happiness for granted…And in a word kept taking the fact for granted that you guys are parts of me, who make me ME…..

Today, when everyone across is on the eve of the Love Day, and when I try figuring out the ones whom I love and who love me back more than I do, YOU are the ones who come to my mind….I realize you are the people who cared for me….who cried with me….who lent your shoulders to me every time I needed one….who laughed with me and made me laugh….and most importantly who LOVED me all across…..You are the ones who bore my arrogance all across…you are the ones who kept crying with my rudeness and yet never made me feel that the reason was I….you are the ones who never left me alone when you had every reason to do so….

And today, this is my chance to say that all the time when I failed to do so, the truth is I love you guys too….I do not want to say Thanks, cuz that is rather a very small word…But I just want you to know one thing…..You people are my LIFE…..and most importantly my LOVE…..So today I want you to do one more thing for me…..Just look deep into my heart, and you will see a clear picture of yourself, carefully captured in it…That is cuz I value your love from the core of my heart and will always do….Just one more request…Please don’t stop loving me…Cuz your love is what keeps driving me in the rather difficult journey of life….And at no cost I want to lose it….

Love you guys…..Love you always….Ahppy Valentine’s Day to all………..

FROM THE PAGES OF MY DIGITAL DIARY..........

203.life s a song....so sing it all through....loud n clear...
even if u sing bad, no need 2 worry.....
if tat makes u happy, nothin else matters....
after all bathroom singers sing pathetic, but they enjoy 'emself d most....
so even if u end up messin ur life wid d most unusual thins...
jus chill....
if tat doesnt affect ur 'livin life 2 d fullest'..
nothin 2 feel sad abt...
202.s insomniac widout 'Fireflies'...............
200.last day of 2010.............
relaxed......n happy...n bit emotional...
end of an extravagant year.........
of course will miss d tyme....
but happy 2 embrace a brand new year...
n so a brand new tyme....
lovin d way chnages r brought in d course......
after all, 'change' s d only constant fact of lyfe...
n hapy 2 b a part of it....
welcome 2011.............
199. last Thursday of d year.........
no fire at work.....
long lazy lunch.....
'Vanilla Twilight' of 'Owl City'....
n....tat makes me feel real good....
jus need a hot steamin coffee 2 stray d laze away..........
198.last Tuesday of d yr....
tym 2 look back n c wat d yr had 4 me....
well.....
it was certainly 1 of d most excitin yrs in my lyf...
wid mixed incidents n accidents....
bt i guess it was a grt yr indeed...
cuz it taught me more than my entire lyf till date ever did...
n m happy abt it...
2010 realy rocked my lyf....(in all possible way)
197.d whole city s lighted up....
everywher Santas.... Rain-deer.....Sledges.....n White Houses......
d air s filled wid smell........
d yumms smell of plum cakes n all d Xmas goodies..........
n a lil chilled tooooo.............
m jus lovin it chooooooooo much........
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL..........
luv ya guys............
196.s feelin choooooooooooooooooooooooooooo nice.............
x'mas s round d corner....n so s new year................
wat can b more amazin n xcitin than tat........
c s got a xmas tree 2 on her desk......
decorated wid chocos....santa....stars....n ribbons....
how kooool.......
c s jus happy.............
4 evrythin around her......
195.dis s 4 all my frenz...who r worried abt me.........
well...2 let u no....
m all kool........
m all fyne.......
m HAPPILY SINGLE........
n NOT READY 2 mingle......
n m tryin 2 b bit artistic....so all my pics look sadistic......
but u can b assured tat m ALL KOOOOL........
love ya guys..............
194.m lost in a sea of probs....

dad s upset wid me........
cant decide on sumthin solid....
gettin bored of travellin every nyte....

my artworks not out...
fightin wid studio guys...

n d list goes on...
m jus gettin clueless....
need sum real help........
193.dont no watta say.........
m literally outta word......
no conclusion at all...........
192.Christmas s almost a month away....
But m already in d mood......
thanks 2 my agency...........
n d creatives..........

well......it s kool actually.............
it's time i plan out my christmas...
191.wants 2 go home n sleep...............................
c s tired.....sad.....irritated....and in deep pain...
her legs r achin....eyes r burnin....havin pain in inner mouth n ear....

n c s missin her dad,
cuz nobody else takes care of her anymore..........
190.is having mixed feelins...........
c misses few thins....
yet s happy....
again s thrilled wid few thins.....
yet misses sum1 around.....

2 conclude.....
c s lettin thins take their own course...
cuz end of everythin.....
c jus wants her world 2 b out of all d mess.....
189.I feel it's gonna rain like this for days
So let it rain down and wash everything away
I hope that tomorrow the sun will shine
I feel it's gonna rain like this
Rain like this
Rain like this
‎188.'Cause when you are with me,
I'm freeI'm careless, I believe
Above all the others, we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes
My sacrifice
My sacrifice
187.is pathetically sad.......
c wants 2 go roamin........
n watch a kool movie....
but s in ofc.........
c doesnt even no y..........

worst part......
c s eatin cold samosa..............
no coffee even..............
n it makes her cry....
sob sob.....................
186.bad day 4 me............
i broke my nails..........
had 2 defend against dog meat........
n guess wat.......
m comin 2 ofc 2mrw 2.............
sob sob................
185.5 days of unlimited adventure.....
lotz of unconventional food............
great people around.........
n most importantly........
d temples in Puri........
wat a trip........
m still in d hangover.......
i guess, i should b a backpacker.........
life ll b jus rockin.....
184.finally.............
off to BBSR.............
hope my trip turns out 2 b great one.............
happy journey to me...............
183.ther cums a tyme
wen lyfe gets stagnant
it stops movin even a step ahead
n tats wen everythin gets hazy...

d thrill of experiencin an all new future
doesnt seem anymore adventurous..
n
d thot of 'wat comes next' gets scary...

any which way
lyfe gets completely uncertain....
n 2 b precise...DULL....

PS...do I feel d same...desperately wish not...
182.startin afresh......
all over again...........
181.i hate November.....
i hate every day in dis month......
180.don no abt other seasons...
but at least in Diwali Pune jus rocks......
continuously glittered fire works.....
lines of lights.......
n ranglois at every door step....

AHHMAZINNNNN.....
jus lovin dis Diwali....
after home n Blore dis s 1st tyme m lovin Diwali.....

''Happy Diwali''............
179.lights......
colors........
n
d sky wid thousand crackers......
ahhmazingly beautiful...........
love everythin abt dis festival.....

'Happy Diwali'.........
178.lost till every bits....
confused till d peak of any degree....
clueless till d end of imagination.....

yup....
tats me....these days.....
jus no way 2 trace wats goin on...

feel like m in middle of a thousand VIVA.....floatin all over...

PS. Courtesy: Diwali layouts with floatin VIVA......
177.in my initiall days
smbdy in my ofc askd me wat do i drm at nyt
my rply ws abt al d fscintin stffs tat cum in my drms

he tld me aftr a whle all tat gna cum in my drms
ll b
Briefs.Requsitions.Creatives.Layouts.Artworks.Deadlines.etc etc

of crse (predictably) i dint blv
n 2day aftr thes mny days in dis place
i ve jus 1 thin 2 say
HE WS SO DAMN RYT

i gss i owe tat guy a Cadbury Silk
4 his prdctn

PS. m still in ofc
176.wanna go 2 sum beaches.....
lie on d warm sands.........
starry sky above.........
n me n my wanderin thoughts.......
thunderin sound of d waves......
n d breeze 4m d sea......
PERFECT.......

well......dreamin s no crime........
175.coke saves me................
'lil drops of happines'.....
so true.........
174.lonely is d word.................
thanks 2 my faith on d wron people..........
173.sleepless nytes.............
172.a Turkey is fed wid all d love n care
n on d day b4 Thanksgivin its neck is wrung..
by d ones who had been feedin it
d irony s
by den d turkey develops a sense of gettin pampered by d feeders
n takes 'em in2 faith....

d sudden change in situation makes it get lost

i feel d same 2
n it hurts......
171.sumhow missin bangalore.......
n J.P. Nagar............
170.i loved d rain...
i loved d soft breeze.....
n i loved d long walks n d long rides in rain.....

it's rainin again.........
but dis tyme....
m nt thrilled anymore......
still searchin 4 d reason y......
169.don really no wher d difficulty lies.........
bt feelin it all d while.......
truely findin it difficult 2 deal wid life.
d worst part........
against my will
ve 2 deal wid all of it....
n all of me ALONE.......
168.i believe it s Durga Puja 2day...............
n i ve d least info abt it............
celebration s d last thin in my mind these days........
failin 2 c d colors of life..........
167.life was always good...................
n now jus wonder.....................
166.silence....
2 of its kind....
d self-imposed 1...
of those wid convictions who seek 2 speak their cause wid a sense of protest...
tats wat i alwas had b4...
n now
d other 1...
of those who ve taken covr in a dark place....
n accept d reality of darkness bein d destiny of life....
i despeartely wish i don suffer 4m dis silence.....
n most probably i ll........
165.hungry...........
choco fantasizing.........(blink blink)

164.addicted......
insomniac............
n
tired of bein sorry................

hmmmmm.......not me....
jus Enrique..............
163.pasta wid white sauce.....TWICE......
tropical iceberg wid choco sauce....TWICE...again.......(wid already infected throat)
cadbury silk.....
yeah..
tat was my 2day's food....
now jus wonderin....
how much calories did i consume...
i guess it s time i start gettin cautious.....
or else god ll surely make me suffer..........
but wonderin...HOW 2 do tat......
HELPPPP...............
162.dreams......
fairy tales........
miracles.....

n sum more dreams......
161.listenin 2 sum of my fav songs
n here cums a realiztn

no doubt music s sumthin tat
makes anybdy blow away
gives peace 2 soul
n
soothes d mind n heart in d best possible way

but d worst part of it s
we alws relate evry bit of music 2 sum or d othr happenins in lyfe

tat makes us go bck 2 tat mment again n again
n gives a kinda emptyness
led by d fact tat so much ve changd since d last tyme d same music was played
160.I'm strong on the surface
Not all the way through
I've never been perfect
But neither have you

So if you're asking me
I want you to know

When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed...........
159.melted chocolate..........
whipped cream......
in iced cold coffee........ryte now m cravin 4 it.................
158.well........September ended...........
n i woke up............
it s tyme 2 sumthin amazin.......................

Courtesy..Green Day (Wake me up wen Sept ends.........)
157.wish could sit in an open terrace..
n play guitar....
till my fingers bleed........
n get high wid loud music.............
how relaxin tat could be..........
156.we mt lotz of ppl in lyf
sum of 'em influnce u 2 d core...n make u a diff person
sum teach u how 2 luv
sum motivate u like nvr b4
sum intrduce u 2 hatrd
it also happns tat sum of 'em tend 2 hit u at ur weakst points
while sum protct u 4m all d blws

tats lyfe

m happy tat i ve been meetin a lot diff kinds 2
n i jus ve 1 thin 2 say 2 'em
thank u..4 makin me witness so much........
155.Guess this means you're sorry
You're standing at my door
Guess this means you take back
All you said before
Like how much you wanted
Anyone but me
Said you'd never come back
But here you are again

'Cause we belong together now, yeah
Forever united here somehow, yeah
You got a piece of me
And honestly,
My life (my life) would suck (would suck) without you
154.in d jurney calld 'life' evrybdy travls on his own
nobdy waits 4 nobdy
evry1 s self centrd
n evrybdy s stron enuf 2 ride on alne
bt stil if smebdy waits 4 u 2 resume his jurney wid u
u r lucky
cuz it happns nly wen u mean sumthin 2 tat person
n 2 mean sumthin 2 sum1 u rly ve 2 put real effort
or u ve 2 ve plain huge luck
so respct thse who want u by their side

cuz othrwise at d end, nobdy waits 4 nobdy...
153.true love s......
wen u no all d faults in a person...........
n still ur love remains d same.........

true love s......
wen u love d person equally at his worst...d way u did at his best......

true love s.......
wen u no thins r better off widout tat person..
yet u take d pain 2 face d strruggle..........

TRUE LOVE s really unconditional.........

PS. courtesy....my frenz........
152.beautiful dreams...................
151.everythin happens 4 a reason............
n everythin ends in a good note...
never believed tat..
but now ve started realizin tat.....
slowly but steadily.....
150.hibernated.......
not any more.....
back 2 chaos...............
149.feelin bit down....
upset wid myself............
148.days pass by...
n lyfe moves on....
n thins fall back in place....
these r d biggest truth of lyfe.....
147.my love s like an ocean.......
n wen urs meet mine we can set out 2 c d world....
we both can sail in it all our lives........
on....n on....n on...
all u need s a lil courage.....
of not gettin drowned....
rest i ll take care....
n if ur love disappears u don ve 2 worry....
cuz we ll still sail in mine......
146.LOVE.......
d purest fragrance of lyfe...
d reason 2 live....
LOVE....
d unconditioned reason 2 smile........
d greatest pleasure known...
LOVE.....
so pure....n so true...
LOVE.....
it s my lyfe.......
145.me goin colorful...........
tryin diff colors instead f black n white........
not bad.......
lets c how it goes.........
as off now jus gettin lost in colors..........


144.medicines makin me sleepy so badly......
tats y i hate 'em.........
143.feel like a limping duck............
142.my poor leg.....
m dyin of pain.....
n ideally i should go c a doc....
but m scared of needles.....
n so still not able 2 make up my mind...
poor me..........
141.my leg has gone mad...........
swollen like never b4.........
numb like never b4.........
n givin me hell of a tyme......
feelin sad 4 it.....
my poor sweetu leg........
sufferin so bad...........
140.i get numb...wen treated rude....
my brain stops workin....
my mind get choked...
n i don understand how 2 react...
need lessons on how 2 handle those situations....
cuz otherwise m gettin stuck.....
tooo bad.....
139.finally i got my noodles............
n yum yum ones...........
wid hot dark sauce.......
jus lovin it.........
HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM................
138.blank......
yup...
tats my mind now...

137.I need HELPPPP........
Dying 4 sum SPICCCCYYYYY malaysaian noodles.............
HOTTT.....SPICCCYYYY......N DARKKKKKK...............
136.Every bit of pain makes u stronger..
Every drop of tears makes a drop lesser..
Every moment of struggle prepares u 4 harder tymes ahead..
So d best part of each happenin in life s tat it teaches u sum or d other thin..
So let d flow take its course..
Cheers 2 LIFE............
135.just finished watchin UDAAN........
just lovely....
LOVE always wins......

LOVE....d purest of all feelins..............
‎134.'ey were d insprtn in my lyf
'ey told me i ws spcl
'ey told me m gnna make it big
'ey alwys luvd me as their own
'ey made me fl spcl

evrytym i made a mstke ey covrd it up
evrytym my arrgance wnt off lmt ey hndld me wid luv

ey alwys hold a spcl place in my heart
cheers 2 all d teachers i've cum across
we bow our heads in 4nt of u
cuz
u teach us hw 2 walk on d paths of lyfe..

HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY
133.love s not always abt d bigi bigi fundas....
it s abt d small cute thins 2...
d smallest of grins...d small peppy hugs...
d small jokes shared...d small cute talks....
d unreasoned fytes...d aimless walks....
n d reasonless "LOVE U" n "MISS U"s...

1 who misses 2 realize tat
doesnt really deserve 2 LOVE ANY1...
n 2 b LOVED BACK....
132.listenin 2 sum soothin music..............
feels nice...........
in fact great............
life seems brighter n greater than it always had been.......
new plans in mind......
probably A BOOK...........
131.i hardly promise anythin 2 myself..........
but once i do i really keep it.........
made 1 such 6 years back..........
kept it till i could......
n
again have made 1 recently...
n gonna keep it 4ever.......
130.Colors of lyfe.......
In different shades.........
Upto me how brighter I can make 'em.............
September starts.....
so here's a song....dedicated 2 myself.......

130."Here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are
as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when September ends...."
129.everyone has a level of maturity in 'em...
jus tat it takes d ryte circumstances 2 show it....
no one s born matured....
but every1 does survive in d race of lyfe....
tats good enough proof of maturity in tat person........
isn't it.........
‎128.5 lousy days.....
didnt no wher i was...
now cumin back 2 life...
slowly...
127.feelin sad n lost........
wish could cry it out loud.....
but I've decided 2 b strong n so cryin is not on my list anymore......
yet d ugly truth s
m losin interest 4 lyfe.......
but wid bit of sense.....
cuz gettin 2 no d reality...
‎126.'LOVE' happens 2 me very frequently
I fall in love very often
I fall out of it 2...very often
Everytyme LOVE happens I enter in a fairyland
Each very different 4m d other
Everytme LOVE happens I plan my future wid him
None of d plans resembles 1 another
N..
Everytyme d intensity of my LOVE changes
Wat doesnt change all d tyme s
D ONE WHOM I LOVE

He always s d SAME person in all my affairs
125.Goin 2 B'lore....my sweet cute lovely city.......
Lovely........
Gonna ve 1 of d most peaceful weekends.........
M already in tears......Missed it so much..........
124.Lately I've realized....
My lyfe s much more dramatic than I thought 2 b.....
I end up gettin much more than I ideally should.....
I end up screwin thins much worse than d normal limit.....
N...
I REALIZE thins much....much...much....much later than I TRULY should......
Still I feel lucky...
cuz....
MY PEOPLE 4give me......
LOVE YA ALL...........
123.Paulo Coelho says....
"Love is d most constructive feelin.....
At d same tyme...it s d most destructive one toooo...."

Hats off.....Cant agree more 2 anythin than dis...........
122.wanderin thoughts....
helpless feelins..
lost mind.......
n

SCARED......
121.jus wonder....
if thers any end 2 my helplessness........
need real help........
gettin sick of myself n my psychic thoughts.....
wish could get rid of myself......
120.feelin so damn lost.............
confused n scared........
gotta decide sumthin.........
need help..........
lets c wat d evenin has stored 4 me........
119.feelin so damn lost..................
need help..........
118.wen ur soul s screwed u die......
darkness haunts u.....
u lose faith....
hatred rules ur mind....
n all u wanna do den s 2 break bones of d ones who screwed ur soul.....
tat s wat m exactly feelin these days.....
117.gettin high temp..........myte b fever..........
but m sure it s jus outburst of my burnt emotions....
completely messed up......
yeah.....tat s my mind....
n now gonna mess up any damn body.....
whoever dares 2 play wid me again....
even in their wildest dreams 2......
116.finally m a member of d club too......
who hate 'LOVE'.........
n now m all on myself....
hope no1 ever messes up wid me anymore...
115.it feels good wen u no u r not guilty anymore........
cuz if u were u wouldnt ve tried so hard 2 make it up..........
it feels really good....n light..........
114.wat goes around comes around...
goes around comes around........
all d way back around.............
113.sumtymes u jus cant help......
n tears break free 4m ur eyes......
n worse......it makes u miss d hand tat could wipe 'em off.........
112.They say it s painful, n I say it s thrillin
They say it s useless, n I say it s EVERYTHIN
They say it shouldnt happen, n I say it s d most important of all happenins
They say u lose urself in it, n I say we dsicover ourselves in it
They say it s madness, n I say it s faith

Yeah....tat s LOVE....
How can I hate LOVE wen it s my LIFE....
111.In your arms
I can still feel the way you want me when you hold me
I can still hear the words you whispered when you told me
I can stay right here forever in your arms

And there ain't no way
I'm lettin you go now
And there ain't no way
And there ain't no how
I'll never see that day

'Cause I'm keeping you forever and for always
We will be together all of our days
Wanna wake up everymorning to your sweet face always
110.a lost mind........
achin heart......
painful breaths.
109.illusioned.....enchanted.....n lost.........
n
rollin tears.....
108.feelin lost......
n probably dead.....
don no how 2 get over it.........
107.lost n never to be found.......
yeah tats my 'heart'..............
n d rest s jus history.........
106.Losin d ability 2 differentiate
‘Love’ 4m ‘Hatred’
‘Faith’ 4m ‘Fear’
‘Tears’ 4m ‘Smile’
Each passin day brins more n more pain….
Don’t know how 2 escape 4m myself......
105.unlike d popular sayin goes
in life we do ve a DELETE button
jus tat we ve 2 find out wher they exist n how 2 make use of 'em
life s beautiful
jus few bad memories cant overshadow dis beauty
neither can a few drops of tears drown d vastness of d same

so find those delete buttons out n delete all d bad happenins 4m life
cheers 2 life....
104.rain-drenched n a bit tired
but luvin d chilled feelin
gonna grab a hot mug of coffee now
n den an awesome book s awaitin next 2 my pillow...

feels great
it s all goin awesome in every way
feel like thankin d unseen power tat makes thins happen so smooth n exotically...

life s great everyday
jus tat sumday we compare it 2 few greater days
no harm in tat anyway
jus feelin great tat m havin such a gorgeous life..
103.d bst way 2 avoid a prob s 2 detach urslf 4m d source of it
d bst way 2 let go smthin s by lettin urslf off 4m it

d bst way 2 live d prsnt s by lettin d past get ovr
n d bst way 2 luv urslf s by not lettin any1 luv u evr

so dnt evr let any1 luv u more thn u luv urself
stay away 4m luv n stay away 4m those who luv u deeply,madly,truely
cuz 'ey r d bigest thrts 2 ur life,ur happines n ur peace of mind
102.gettin a bad headache.......
probably d worst in last 6 years..........
feels if my head ll burst out.....
wish god helps me....

cuz nothin else s able 2 help me any damn way.......
101.had an awesome evenin
was standin by d sea in heavy rain
worli sea-face jus looks so dreamy in rain
n gettin wet wen d sea s in 4nt of u makes u feel jus so amazin

boarded a local after a long tyme
stood at d door all d way n jus had a lovely tyme
n den an awesome rain-drenched walk back home

n now havin hot steamin mug of tea n potato fries
feelin so relaxed
n bonus fact s 2mrw s a sunday

oowow
jus love all of it
100.list of probs in my life
my hair s spoilt n d curls r gone
my skin s lifeless n lotta red dots on it
my eyes burn all d tyme cuz lotta dust keeps enterin 2 'em all through
my nose itche cuz again dust plays its role
m bein fatty cuz i don get my salad everyday
my shoes r missin n my dresses r of no use
phew.......
does anybody ve a sadder life than me

n still i dont n cant be sad
sumthin s badtyme wron wid me.....
99.a spicy plate of pav- bhajji n hot filter coffee....
tat was my lunch 2day......

kool......
n now it seems d coffee had no effect on me......
cuz m feeling sleepy..............
BIG TYME..............
98.in life u meet a lotta ppl
'ey cum,'ey go
at tymes u jus lose track of 'eir entry-n-exit 2-n-4m ur life
n u myte nt no hw 2 no who r ur real countrparts
cz many a tymes d fake fcts seem 2 b real 1s
aftr all d wrld s full of illusionry elmnts

Bt den
d tru 1s ll alwys walk alng wid u
no mattr wat
'ey ll alws want u
'ey ll alws ve a mment js 4 u
n 'ey ll smhw nvr go awy 4m u
n if u ve sum1 like tat u r dfntly a lucky 1
97.sad me after a long tyme.............
my rockets r missin............
my 1st ever handmade paper rockets...........
missin 'em........
96.wowwww............watta day.......
jus roamed n roamed.......
had all my kinda food every half an hour.....
had cold coffee to my heart's content....
shopped like mad....
n now m jus sittin completely relaxed.....
wow.......
i jus love sundays....................
cheers............
95.a lazyyyyyy mornin......
bright n charmin 1.....
feelin heavenly fresh after a long relaxin sleep.....
jus so awesome n yummy....
listenin 2 music in d loudest volume possible n relishin on a big pot of coffee.....
jus awesome....
lovin it wid all my heart.....
happy sunday.....
94.mumbai cuttin chai...................
jus finished d 1st ever in my life........
awesome......
m missin d mysore road highway ones.........

i've started bein a pakka mumbaikar....1st VADA PAV n now CUTTIN CHAI.......
cheers 2 me.............
93.a long tirin day...
but feels good...
may b cuz of d weather...
may b cuz of d steamin coffee...
or may b cuz of nothin...
but jus d feelin makes such a huge difference...

life s strange...n happiness!!! even stranger...
watsoever...love d way thins movin...
cheers 2 life..
92.dis mornin jus found out....
my life equation has a better n easier solution than i always thought would be........such a comfortin feelin s tat.........
91.pourin since afternoon
wat a lovely rain
hot steamin coffee in hand,music on ears,textin on mobile n sittin by d window
jus lovin all of it
wid all my heart...

feel like gettin in2 d phone n bein on d other side
hope he 2 has d same thins around
cuz m feelin sad 2 enjoy it alone
it s jus so amazin n i no he s havin a tough tyme instead
wish i could reduce d toughness a bit...
miss U...
‎90.1 of d best mornin...
continuous soft breeze...n d cloud has covered d hot sun...
sittin in d balcony n enjoyin d whole scene...
wid of course a warm pot of coffee...
n d best part...
d balcony s d 1 of my flat...
tat says m not at work 2day!!!!!!!!
yeah...no work dis mornin...
wat an unexpected bonus...after a long relaxin sunday...
yipeeee..............
89.watched I hate Luv Storys...nothin in it....but Sonam looks pretty.....n Imran..............jus oooooooooooooohhhh......

kool tyme pass after a long tough week.......
anyways i like any kinda love stories.....
specially Fairytales.....
cuz i too believe in 'em......
n my lfe s not less than a similar 1.....
n i jus love my d way it is.....
cheers 2 lovestories......
88.mumbai s havin an awesome shower...
loved it...
was sittin by d window in an old bus...
silvery droplets made me almost wet n it was jus amazin...

people say mumbai rain s horrible...
but till now it s 1 of d most amazin thins 4 me...

jus tat miss U n miss gettin wet in d rain wid U...
anyways doesnt matter s 4 now...
cuz m 2 happy wid d chillin breeze...
87.feelin great ajthough hada a long tough day...
sittin by d window wid a cold chilled coffee...
n its jus amazin...

only thin missin s SUM1's shoulder n a cozy chat wid him...
how i wish u were here...wid ur shoulder lent 2 me 2 lay my head on...

missin U so much...
cheers 2 LOVE...
86.mumbai rain..
1 of d bst thins so far 4 me
mornin strts wid soft drzles
rains almst d whle day n evnins turn out 2 b so kool n relaxin.wid d soft breeze addin flavr 2 it
isn't it js amazin
feel so wondrful n cmplte

jus 1 thin missin.SUM1's hands in mine.2 hold n wlk in d rain

no wrries.sun we ll dance in d rain.2gthr.n 2 our hearts' content
s 4 nw mumbai rain s makin me 4get my lonelines wid its charm
luv u Mumbai
85.again mornin...a nice one...
drizzlin n feelin really lost...
wish u were here n we could go 4 a walk in s rain...

now m bein angry...badlyyy...n on u...
cuz cant help missin u...
a long day awaits...n ve 2 ve it widout u...
84.tired 2 d core...
all i wanna ve now s a soft hug...
n a shoulder 2 lay my head on...

i no...i no...d shoulder s far away n not practical now...
but who cares...
d feelin tat m layin my head on it s more than enough 4 me 2 ve a relaxin sleep...

thanks a lot...4 makin me feel tat way...makin me feel protected...
jus love it wid all my heart...
83.cooked ALU MATAR PANEER..........n it was heavenly tasty......(tat s a compliment I got)
strange....
I hardly eat tat kinda food n yet cooked 'em ROYALLYYY...........
great goin.....
at least I ll b able 2 help my husband in kitchen.....yup yup....

PS: thanks 2 u....u started lovin Italian n Chinese 4 me....so m masterin in Indian dishes....how s tat....
82.love s strange...
even if u stay 2gether 24/7 u end up missin him
even u talk 24/7 u miss him
n den...
even if u stay far far away u feel he s wid u
even if u don talk 4 ages u no u can understand each other's thins d best way possible
love s d best thin in life...

n love s true wen u love him at his worst d way u do at his best
n u r lucky wen sumbody does d same 2 u
didnt no i had been dis lucky...all d while...


81.ooooooooo...............weekend................

love dis............gonna be roamin a full weekend...............
Mission "Mumbai Explore" to be executed........
80.planned 4 dominos...n ended up eatin puri-alu.........

n now i cant move....cuz i staffed my stomach wid a huge plate of potatoes.....

dis status update s dedicated 2 those of my frenz who complain tat i don eat......
all i want now s a few strong coffees....cuz my eyes r almost closin..............
79.back home after a long day...messed up,sweaty,hungry n jus exhausted...
n den a round of calls 4m sum unknown idiots...
can u beat it...

GOSH...........

freaky guys...grrrrrrrrr......

anyway lovely weather....n romantic toooooo....
miss u bigggg tyme...feel like huggin u...sittin in d balcony wid a big cup of coffee n wanna chat wid u whole nyte...yummy na...
78.feelin so unwell...
wish u were here 2 take care of me...
n make me sleep in ur lap...

miss it badly...
do u rem...i never needed med wen u were around...

come down soon...

PS. u no na how 2 cure me...
73.AMAZIN RAIN..after a long tyme saw it in daylite..n it s jus so mesmerisin..d whole city was takin bath n ws lukin jus like a pretty gal.....

felt so nice 2 get wet..2 let d rain drops fall on me like nvr b4..jus a difrent world al 2gthr..it made me 4got my illnes..made me nt 2 care 2 take my stilletoes off 2 almst swim acrss a deep water pit..

bt who cares..had such an amazin evenin..jus lovin it..

72.Wen I ws lil al I wntd s 2 b wid my Dad
He ws d 1 who cld hndle me in my wrst
He ws d 1 who cld alws mnge 2 make me feel secure
He ws d 1 who cld undrstnd al my idiotic madnes

I ws his Princess...

Dad,
I stil nd U
2 make me sit bside U n tel me al thos stories
2 rub ur hand thru my hair n make me fal aslp
n 2 make me feel tat d wrld s so mch bttr n easier 2 live in bein Ur Princess...

Love u Dad
Hpy Ur Day
71.Sittin by d window n lookin out ther..drizzlin..lightnin..n soft breeze blowin across..Such a heavenly feelin..
Missin a shoulder 2 lay my head on..missin a lap 2 hide my face in..missin evey1 i love..n missin d warmth tat 'U' create sittin jus next 2 me..
Sumtymes d best thins in d world seem incomplete..widout d loved ones around..
But den 'U' bein ther s enough 2 complete my world..thanks 4 makin me feel tat way..
70.Well
M tryin 2 4get d feelin tat I miss u

Feelin Green
Wen d jealousy swls n it won go away n drms
Feeling Yellow
M confused inside a lil hazy bt mellow

Wen I feel ur eyes on me
Feelin fine, its sublimeWen tat smile of urs creeps in2 my mind

Nobdy told me it feels so good
Nobdy said u wld be so beautiful
Nobdywarnd me abt ur smile

U're d light
U're d light

Wen I close my eyes
M colorblind..
69.wen u at ur best u miss him...
wen u r at ur worst u miss him...

wen u r happy u wanna b wid him...
wen u r sad u wanna hug him...

wen u laugh u want him 2 join u...
wen u cry u want him not 2 c u...

LOVE makes u strange n alien...

but LOVE makes u strong...
n m feelin stronger than ever............love dis feelin...........
68.enjoyed d lovely rain..wanted 2 get wet..but no fun in gettin wet alone..jus missin sumbody..we both always waited 4 d rain..now listenin 2 taylor n tryin 2 go back in ther..

"There's somethin' 'bout the way
The street looks when it's just rained
There’s a glow off the pavement
Walk me to the car
And you know I wanna ask you to dance right there
In the middle of the parking lot
Yeah"

Really Miss u............
67.my sundays r gettin greater n greater.........had an awesome one dis tyme 2..............thanks sweethearts............n now listenin 2 Shakira................Tsamina mina eh eh....Waka Waka eh eh....Tsamina mina zangalewa....Anawa aa....This time for Africa.....................
everythin s jus awesome...........
66.Tsamina mina eh eh....Waka Waka eh eh....Tsamina mina zangalewa....Anawa aa....This time for Africa..................
65.such an awsome weather in here.........felt so bright...it s a bright mornin.....n d day gonna brin so much more..............lovin it wid all my heart......
64.rainin 4m d mornin...........such an awesome weather.....enjoyedd downpour sittin next 2 d window4 almost d whole mornin.....so far mumbai rain s ecstatic......lets c how long it remains d same....................
63.rainin in mumbai.....lovin it......gettin wet.....cickin lotta pics....havin ice cream......n eatin lots of peaches.................jus enjoyin d rain................
62.finally a sunday...........................n m missin my last sunday.......................
61.worked almost till 11 night......................but den m lovin it...................i love every bit of it............................
60.mission mumbai completed...............................1st my EVREYTHIN..................n now my job............gonna ve PERCEPT experience 4m 2mrw...................cheers 2 me.................
59.sometymes u really don no wat u want in life n wat makes u happy................but sumtymes u no UNDOUBTEDLY wat u EXACTLY want n wat makes u HAPPY LIKE NEVER B4..............

n m happy 2 d core now................jus loved it.......now i feel like leavin mumbai never ever in life............
58.wow........................it was awesome.........................jus loved it.........now i guess m enjoyin mumbai................love mumbai.............
57.Dint no wen it started bein in everythin I do
Dint no wen it started bein in my breaths..in my eyes..n in my smile

Dint no wen it started bein in my thoughts..in my heart..n in my soul

Jus tat i no it has started rulin my mind n life
Jus tat i no it has started decidin my fate

Simply it has started bein EVERYTHIN I ever wanted

N dis s d lil SECRET tat i carry wid me
D secret spreadin all across my life..n my days
56.Wen u no tat u no who u love, u can't deny it
Or go back, or give up, or pretend tat u don buy it
Wen it's clear dis tyme u've found d 1, u'll nvr let him go
..
Wen u feel in ur skin in ur bones n d hollow
Of ur heart, there's no way u can wait til 2mrw
Wen there isn't any doubt about it once u come dis close
..
U can feel love's 'round u like the sky 'round the moon
Dis is how love has found u, now u no wat to do..
55.Talk to the wind, talk to the sky,Talk to the man with the reasons why.....
And let me know what you find....
I’ll leave my window open
‘Cause I’m too tired at night to call your name....
Just know I’m right here hopin’...
That you’ll come in with the rain...............
54.confused.................like never before.................
53.missin my pasta n spaghetti salad...........................................CASA PICOLA...................n VIA MILANO........................
52.waitin 4 d rain in mumbai...................hope it would b really amazin..................
51.How do I say I need you…..how do I say I miss you….how do I make you understand hat you are my LYF….

How do I show you d broken pieces of my heart…..how do I show you d pain in my eyes…..how do I show you my shattered lyf….

How do I make you understand me…..how do I make you speak your heart out to me….how do I make you jus take me in you arm n say nothing….

How do I say I LOVE YOU…..I LOVE YOU…..I LOVE YOU…..
50.Once upon a time, I believe it was a Tuesday,When I caught your eye,We caught onto something, I hold on to the night,You looked me in the eye and told me you loved meWere you just kidding? 'Cause it seems to me

This thing is breaking down, we almost never speak,I don't feel welcome anymore,Baby, what happened? Please tell me,'Cause one second it was perfect,Now you're halfway out the door
49.m always happy....i never cry....jus tat my stupid tears come rushin down my cheeks....how idiot they r.....i jus hate 'em....m fit n fine....HOT n SEXY.....hehehe.....n m happy.....jus tat my idiot HEART aches at tymes..............................phewwwww...........
48.down wid fever..................but still i jus love dis place........................hmmm........................anythin 4 u............................
47.suddenly there s a feelin.....unnamed....unknown.....n m bit sad.....it s such a lovely place 2 b....but den u always need 2 sacrifice sumthin 2 get sumthin else.....tats d way life s on......n i accept it....love dis place....n ll really miss it.........


46.too bad tat u loved me....too bad tat i did d same....in d end it proved to b jus an illusion....now it s hard 2 say goodbye....yet tat s best path 2 walk on.....so here's a heartfelt goodbye....love ll always b there at d bottom of both d hearts....yet y to embrace pain wen we no tats our destiny in bein 2gether.....GOODBYE..may angels walk beside u...........
45.drizzles on my face..tricklin down my closed eyes..droplets on my hair n makin 'em damp..one of d best feelin ever..wanna stand like dis till life permits..jus a thin missin..his hands in mine..n our heartbeats 2gether..sumtymes d small thins make life look so beautiful.........................
44.evenins r awesome....................................
43.every bit of pain makes u stronger..every drop of tears makes a drop lesser..every moment of struggle prepares u 4 harder tymes ahead..thanx 2 every single rough pace of my life..i feel stronger inside.. wish d truth lyin inside dis heart doesnt get criticised anymore s it always did..perceptions arisin 4m d outer shell s they appear,leave me n my loved ones perplexed always..wish d same 2 never happen again..
42.exhausted...................n sickened..........................n worst part missin a shoulder.....................
41.HAPPY BDAY 2 ME................PLANNIN 2 GIFT MYSELF A GUITAR........................ROCK ON...................
40.happy bday 2 me........m a big gal now.........n they don cry..............
39.Tell my heart to stop beating,Tell my mind to stop thinking,Throw a stone into the ocean then tell it to stop sinking,Tell the sky not to be so blue.Well, it's like telling me not to be in love with you.............
38.can u feel d magic in d air.........
37.mumbai again....................kool anyway.......bday in mumbai..............
36.once somebody told me if u r beautiful at heart god makes u look beautiful n charmin as well.....CANT AGREE MORE.....so very true....

35.There's somethin' 'bout the way the street looks when it's just rained There's a glow off the pavement, you walk me to the car And you know I wanna ask you to dance right there In the middle of the parking lot, yeah............ And I don't know how it gets better than this You take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless And I don't know why but with you I dance In a storm in my best dress, fearless
34.MARRIAGE.....................................SCARY.................................IS IT 4 ME.................I WONDER........................
33.it s too late for you..........n your white horse.................
32.was really waitin 4 dis moment......always.....4m last 2 years.....wen d wicked tyme ll jus pass by n we'll walk 2gether again....holdin hands....n ll jus run away 4m d crowd 2 our own sweet small world.....but again...tyme s so very wicked....ll my dreams come true.....or is dis d beginnin of a new wait.....lets c...wat s in store 4 me.....
31.wen thins go on track we hardly feel it......wen they get upside down we realize d worth of 'em bein on track.....tat realization makes us value 'em......n wen thins get back on d old track again it s like gettin a new birth....feels like gettin d LIFE back.......love dis feelin.....can even die 2 keep thins go dis way............
30.I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket...But I've got to get a move on with my life...It's time to be a big girl now....And big girls don't cry...Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry
29.couldnt c thins wen i should ve.....now realize it 2 d core......but do i deserve a 2nd chance.....tat s d final question.........
28.wen u love someone love wid all ur heart n soul....it s 4 u....not 4 any1 else....wen u love it s u who gets d happiest....it s u who feels d world go round wid joy....it s u who sees d fantasy land...never expect d other person do d same...if he's lucky enough 2 see d fairy land wid u den he ll....love wid all ur heart...cuz LOVE itself s d storngest n best feelin in d world....HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY.................
27.wanna do it wid all my heart.............wish i were an angel wid a magic stick............hope god ll make dis miracle happen..................
26.hectic.....hectic......hectic............but it s kool..............
25.Dreams on fire....................................................................
24.mumbai s lovely..but my throat sucks right now................voice s jus a whisper in d ears......
23.jus lovin everythin......new year s really bein too good 4 me.........
22.new year s a step away.................new life...........n new meanin of life..........
21.feel like huggin my teddy........................i miss him................
20.lovely christmas over......m sad...........
19.merry christmas to all.................................love ya all....................
18.hopes it comes out to be kool..................................
17.miss it...................................
16.mixed feelins..........................................................................
‎15.10 more days 2 go..........................
14.Somebody loves u..... Somebody misses..... Somebody cant live.....Widout u......It's lonely..... Somebody hopes Someday U ll see..... tat Somebody's ME...... tat Somebody's ME.....
13.kooooolllllllllllllllllllllllllll evenin.........................................................................loved it...............................felt special after a long tyme..............
12.green s my new color................................
11.shoppin.............shoppin............shoppin.......................
10.badlyyyyyyyy CONFUSED.....................................
9.had a rockin diwali..............had awesome fun..........cheers............
8.happy happy happy diwali 2 all my frenz......
7.chuck them outa ur life who doesnt no ur worth n value.................m gonna do d same.............soon...........
6.i hate people who breaks trust...................................
5.havin a hot coffe.n wipin my tears off.............
4.it s a lonely evenin.....sittin alone..........missin Jaan...................n my frens...........
3.its a sad evenin.....feelin low........cold chill breeze runnin across my face n takin me back 2 old funfilled days....wish could celebrate d day s we wanted.........
2.feelin low......................badly low....................life s gettin borin..............n bugginn.....n sick...n terrible.....n all d bad feelins watever s possible...............
1.Had an evenin nap 2 witness a scary dream....got up n realized how beautiful life s wid so much of love n care around...never really cared 2 value those but thanks 2 my loved ones I realize it now.....

LETS PAINT.........

How about painting a portrait of life…..Here’s the plan……We will pick colors from all possible sources of life….And trust me, it is going to be fabulous….Cuz life comes in uncountable colors and shades….And each of them is utterly vibrant and genuine….

We will pick shades from the small happenings in each day…..Cuz every small incidents and accidents is a part of the different possible shades of life….Each morning when you get up, the brightness you experience can be the base shade of the canvas….The smile your loved ones spread on your lips can sharpen the edges it….When you smile back at them, they know their effort was paid off…..And that makes them smile back, and here you go….You have added one more bright shade to the portrait….
You see the same old road while travelling, but today you are travelling with new people, and you experience a brand new journey….A new experience, and here comes one new shade….You like the music played at your background, and you are happy….And again a new blend of shades…..

Every single day is a bouquet of new experiences….And so is a palette of thousand shades….And if you pick one shade from each day of your life, you have more colors than you could ever think of….And that’s how you get a range of shades, known and unknown to fill the life portrait….Every small reason that makes you smile adds to the colors….Every small reason that makes you shed tears sharpen the shades….And every small reason that makes you ‘YOU’ is good enough to paint your whole life with…

People say, life is difficult….I say life is colorful….People say it’s difficult to live with problems…I say they make your life even more colorful…..People say ups and downs make life tiresome…..I say they make life brighter and even more vibrant….People say life is cruel when it doesn’t offer you every comfort….I say that makes the portrait of life filled with colors that you cannot recognize and that makes it unique….

Life is all about various eclectic shades, coming in the form of events, expected and unexpected….All you need to do is pick the shades you wanna put in your painting, and discard the rest….After all it is your choice which shades you wanna paint your life with…And if we look down the memory lanes, yet more shades are waiting to let them show their impact on the painting….So all we need to do is just have our choices sorted, so that we can get going with the painting….

So, here I go with putting down the shades of my life on the canvas…..And I’m sure, with the amount of shades I have, my painting will be one of the greatest creation of my life…If not for my creative way to put the colors down, at least for the fact that it has an exceptional range of colors that can blow my mind away…..

WELCOMING A BRAND NEW YEAR.........

It’s been long that I’ve last updated my blog…And today, sitting at the last week of the year (or should I say, the most exciting and vivacious year of my life), I wanna pen down something, exclusively for myself….And what can be more gracious to conclude this year’s blogging, than updating it with my own evaluation of the journey I kept continuing all through, despite of all the hurdles (at least in my own tiny way) and at times, almost some kind of breakdown feeling….

Well….in general, I’m a person, who doesn’t believe in taking so called ‘New Year Resolutions’, cuz, I know ‘M too impulsive to follow any of them…..So, as always last year (or rather at the end of the last year too), I didn’t have any sort of resolution, which I would have planned to follow throughout the year….And accordingly I ended up having a year, with a great deal of ‘Ups & Down’…’Hues & Cries’…’Smile & Tears’…and the list goes on….To be really honest, in fact I myself never expected so much of them…..But the truth is, I had a year with the largest nos of incidents and accidents….and the best part of each of them was that, I was taught an array of new things every time I encountered them…. And so, I pat myself for not planning my life in a sorted out way…..Well, as the saying goes, what is the fun in watching a movie, if you already know the story of it…..And, that is how….I’m more than happy to experience each and everything of what the year unfolded for me (no doubt most of them had made me shed tears, and the amount of tears I shed during the year can beat the collective amount of my entire life)……………

The year itself had started in the most unexpected note for me….or rather should I say, in a ‘Transitional Note ???’…..Whatever it might be, it was surely not the usual way….And as the year started rolling, lot of things, on which I used have blind faith, turned out to be utter misleading truths of life…..And on the other hand, things which I used to ignore all through, became the most important parts of me…..And this itself was one of the very few things that almost lifted my life upside down…..There was a time, when I found myself, standing on the middle of a road, which was out my wildest imagination….And things around was, so strangely strange that I could not figure out (at most of the times) whether I really was a part of all that…. And when I came back to reality, it was time to know that I had to start everything from the beginning, all over again……

And…I did….Maybe cuz, I had no choice to make….Maybe cuz, I had realized inside me that, it was the best for me…..or maybe cuz, I wanted to do it….And finally, I resorted to a new life (of course with a lot of tears shed)….Got into a place, which I was the most scared of…..and not to mention all alone (leaving all my friends behind, and disappointing them to the core, but trust me, you guys are my life)….There was a time, at this phase, when I had cried while traveling….while in office….while sleeping….while eating food…. And all the tears, finally made me realize that every drop of it makes a drop lesser for the future….That is how, I started feeling strong, and today I feel stronger than ever……I feel, I’m back in my own small world, only difference between the one I had earlier is that now I have lesser reason to shed tears about…..have lesser people to care about…..have lesser people who make me cry…..have lesser people to make me hate myself……And most importantly have MORE and MORE reasons to feel happy about….

And that makes me come back to the BIGGEST and TRUEST conclusion of life…That life really IS STRANGE….Today the things that keep you and your interest occupied, tomorrow you will learn to live without them….So where is the reason to plan out your life with only certain things in focus….Cuz, if there is one small shake, the entire plan goes haywire…..So, at the end, it doesn’t really matter, what we planned, unless and until the assumed result doesn’t show up…..Hence, have been taking chances with things in life….And I’m positive about enjoying the journey twice more than I would have, had I planned it perfectly….

Well….enough of self-analysis…..it’s time, I stop thinking and let my hair loose….Of course, it’s time for welcoming a brand new year…In a brand new way…..And wish, like the last one, this year too brings an extravagant bouquet of experiences for me…..

Wish all my loved ones one of the most mesmerizing year ahead…………………

CONFESSION OF A DAUGHTER.......MISS U DAD..........

This is exclusively for you Dad....oh no....’ My Dita’....At this hour of night I’m missing you....The loneliness surrounding me is making me miss those moments when you used to tell me stories to make me sleep....Your hand in my then short hair had always made me feel the world so safe.....I miss you so much....And that is why this is for you.....I might have never told you anything of what I m going to tell you today....Probably cuz I had a feeling that you have already known every bit of it, or might be cuz, I always wanted to keep those away from you....But I want you to know that you are the one person in my life whom I love without a condition.....And you are the one person who have always been 'my life' all through....
You know something Dita....you are my superhero.....Did I ever tell you about those classroom exercises, where I had to write essays on the topic ‘My Ideal Person’...You know what Dita...I had always ended up writing about you....Cuz you are really the one person in my life whom I find the most perfect one....But I had never shown any of those writings to you, cuz I always feared you might not like those.....cuz I had seen your writings (oh there is a secret, I always used to sneak into your diaries, I’m sorry Dita) and I had seen how fabulous they were.....And that had always made me get close to the world of fiction (and apparently I had ended up creating my own fairy land)....
Dita...I always loved being your Princess....I long for those days when you and me used to throw pranks on mom....I long to go back to those days when you used to protect me from anything and everything....I long to run back to those times when you used to sing for me....I miss those evening talks (I used to look forward for those cuz it could always save me from books, but didn't know those would be something I would die to get back).....Every single moment of those are so fresh in my mind...And they will always be.....And I just wish they never got over.....
You know Dita, every single word of yours act wonders on me....If I’m in thousand problems and I get to talk to you for a minute too (which always happens, cuz you always know when I need you, as you say it is telepathy), I get all the strength and courage in the world back....Everything falls back on track, life gets smoother and easier, exactly the way you have always craved it for me.....Do you know a truth, I can overcome any and every problem in my life, just that your presence (even if in the form of few soothing words) is always a mandatory....
The world seem so easy when you are around....The world seem so lively and amazing when your love is around me....Your words are the best medicine to cure any of my anxiety.....Your presence is so much needed in everything and anything I ever attempt for.....True, without you I will be nothing Dita......
You mght think at times that I have grown up and can take care of my own self....And at times I might act arrogant to prove that I really have grown up and have turned self dependent....But bottom of our hearts, we both know the truth.....You know that I still need you to take care of me, and Me??? I’m still the kid at heart, who used to get scared to go out in dark and always needed your hand to hold mine.....I’m still the arrogant kid, who never used to go to school without 3 kisses from you on my forehead.....I’m still the afraid kid, who used to sleep only if you had sat beside my bed....I have not grown up yet Dita.....Atleast when it comes to your love and care, I’m still the small kid who longed for your lap.....
I miss you so much Dita.....Teardrops stop listening to me when I miss you....But you donot worry...Your Princess also knows that her Dita wants her to be strong.....And you know right Dita...That I will never let you down.....But just want you to know one thing....I miss you....And I feel proud that I’m your daughter.....Love you Dita.......

MEMORIES.....THEIR AFTERGLOW.....N SOME HELPLESSNESS......

Just a while back was listening to a song Afterglow…..every word of it was speaking my mind out….How true it is…..Only in the afterglow of anything and everything we do realize the worth of it….. It is only when we walk down the memory lanes that we realize the good times we experienced….It always happens that the past matters more than the present…..Probably that is why we always want to treasure different moments captured….Probably that is why we always end up building our future on the ground of the past….Cuz once PRESENT turns into PAST we realize how wonderful it was….

People say we should forget the past to start a new beginning….And the very base of it speaks how impactful a past can be….Unless and until one does not forget the past the future seems to be dull and difficult…Why??? Cuz we always end up realizing that the past was so beautiful that to match up with the same the future really need to be extraordinary….And that is how memories influence us to be immersed in them all through….

Memories…..the best of the best when they inspire to look forward for a brighter future….And the worst of the worst if they shadow up the hope of living for the future…..And at this phase of my life it is completely beyond my capability to judge whether my memories are my asset or the biggest barrier on my future dreams…..It is being beyond my control to rescue myself from the shadow of the past memories and every bit of those make me lose myself into a world which I really fail to recognize….At times they make me feel proud to have experienced them…..and at the same time they make me realizes that so much have changed by now and this realization brings some silent tears without my knowledge…..And I end up losing myself in their hands……….

At times I look for a way to escape from the memories….but they are so overpowering that they have covered me up like the blanket of fog a winter morning….like the shadow that never wanna leave us behind…..And it makes me helpless…………I go weak on my knees….And jus wish things never changed…. Nothing pains worse than the realization that things could have turned out the way they were……..And when it happens that one never wanted a change at the first place, the pain doubles…..

Time changes…..situations change…..and also the people around you do…But the essence of their presence never does…..In fact every possible related experience takes us back to those moments which we shared together….A piece of music, a fragment of fragrance…..and touch of a familiar breeze…….all of them keep taking us back to the moments we have lived before….And they do not let us come out of those moments….

As I put these feelings down I realize how much I long to go back to those moments….The moments shared with my near and dear ones…the small unreasoned talks….the small arguments….the aimless walks in the middle of the nights...all of these had spiced up the life to get some unforgettable memories created……Still the fragrance of the coffees are fresh on my nostrils….still the unbearable taste of the half cooked foods are fresh on my tongue….and still the chilled evenings are fresh to feel them….Yet things are not the same anymore….And that is how every bit of those real happenings have turned into only memories….And however my soul screams for those to come back to me, the reality is they are nothing but long gone past……

There is no end to the pain that I have been experiencing cuz of my memories….And also there is no cure to escape from those……And the helplessness makes me suffocate to the core….Just keeping the hope alive that someday…perhaps someday my walks through the memory lanes will come to an end and I would start walking towards my future……..And I wish that happens soon….Cuz I do not want to just live in the afterglow of anything and everything…..and also do not want my memories to haunt me everywhere I go…..And yes…My memories have become haunted shadows after me, blocking every way towards my future…….

FOR YOU....WITH LOVE.......

You will never know what you meant to me…You will never know what you gave me…You will never believe when I say you all that I could ever want…You will never realize how much my heart longs for you…. You will probably never get to know….But truths are always truths….And so even if you never know this truth will also remain true till the end of the story..

You filled my life like no one ever did…..You filled my heart like no one ever could……..When I lost road you guided me……..When I lost the world you created one 4 me…When I slipped on the paths of life you stood holding my hands…..You laughed with me…..You cried with me….You cried for me….You did everything for me….You gave me a partner 2 laugh with….You gave me a shoulder to cry on…..In short you filled my life with everything one could possibly think for…..

You told me ‘Life is beautiful’ and I could really see the beauty around me….with you….You told me ‘Dreams come true’ and I could always turn my dreams into reality…..You told me ‘I can do wonders’ and I really did wonders in everything I tried…..All you said always came true……Do you know why???? Because you were there to tell me what is right and what was not…….But the biggest truth was you knew me more than I do myself….And that is how you could know what can be the best for me…..

You were my friend, philosopher and guide….You showed me what life could offer….You taught me how to fight back in life…You taught me everything that can made me love life….What more….You helped me walk along the paths of life, by holding my hands….And that had made me feel that the journey of life is so easy and amazing….

You were right there when I was in trouble….Your arms were around me to shield me from any hardness of life….You stood by me when I was alone and devastated….You collected my energy when life had planned to gun me down……..You boosted my morale, you enhanced my mind, you enriched my thoughts….. And when I sobbed you were there to wipe my tears off…..

You gave me the best gift of my life…’LOVE’….You taught me what love is….You taught me how to love….And you taught me how beautiful it can be….And it was indeed more beautiful and charming because the person I fell for was YOU….Your innocent eyes, soft talks, warm smile….Everything about you made me fall deeper and deeper in love with you….But the best part of your love was you made me change….You made me being a better person….You taught me the values of life…Your love made me see the world from the best angle possible…..Where there was no selfishness, no hatred and no condition of giving and taking….


Thanks….For everything….For bringing the good out of me….For making me see life in a better way….For making me see the world as a better place to live in….For making me feel loved….For telling me what I could do…..For teaching me how to love….For each and everything…..You are one of the best chapter of my life book, which I want to read again and again….over and over again….


This is to let you know what you were for me….you are for me….and you will be for me…..Things may change, the world may change, and even you may change….But your presence in my life will always be felt….Your space in my life will always be the same…..You may walk ahead or away from me, but I will always place myself at a distance where I can stretch my hands and reach yours….Because the journey in life gets more and more amazing when you and me together…….And I know God has already built the road of journey and has also decided the destination…..All we have to is reach there…..I know the journey will not be a bed of roses, but we both together can conquer the worst of anything….So I am sure the journey will one of the most thrilling one could ever imagine…..

Cheers to ‘US’……..This is for you....With all my love....

FALLIN IN LOVE WID PAIN..............

It’s been 2 days…..n m in pain….n unlike always dis tyme it s not of my heart n mind…….it s a physical pain….but unlike d pains in heart, dis tyme it s quite bearable….in fact sumhow dis pain s making me feel glad……probably cuz it s actin s an escape root 4 me 4m my complicated thoughts….sumtymes pain has its own god points….it makes u 4get d unwanted complexities of life…it makes u feel other difficulties of life minor….n most importantly it makes u resistant 2 any other miseries of life….n tats wat my pain s doin 2 me now….it s makin me 4get other troubles in lyfe….n 4 a change m likin it….

Well….there was a tyme wen d very thought of pain used 2 scare me….d very thought of sufferin used 2 handicap me…. N adjustin 2 troubled situations was a thin beyond my imagination…….n I considered myself incapable of any of that….in fact I really was….it takes a bit of courage 2 admit but yeah, I was a spoiled kid….spoiled in a way, I was not supposed 2 b….tat made me arrogant, self centered…..headstron, wicked….n most importantly nobody ever tried 2 change d way I was…everybody I had come across till date never tried stopping me 4m bein so, n instead, encouraged, reason bein they always ended up pamperin me….rather than letting me face d hardship of lyfe….n now wen m goin through d most difficult phase of my lyfe, I miss ‘em…sumtymes wish they never did so much 4 me….n most of d tymes I curse ‘em 4 makin me so vulnerable in lyfe….4 makin me so weak in lyfe….so weak tat wen it was my turn 2 face d world alone I was barely able 2 stand n my feet…my legs were shakin n my own weight seemed much heavier than I could really take….d smallest of negative incidents could leave me devastated, d smallest of d thorns left me bruised n d smallest of stones on d path looked sum big barriers on d path of life….in a word, I started seein no end 2 d dark passage….all I could c s d length of d tunnel widout a single glimpse of light in it…..n felt s though d whole world was consiprin against me…..n I was d lone victim of the whole conspiration…..

N den d miracle started happenin……1 fyne day started realizing all tat I had been cribbin abt, complainin abt was not tat bad….n tat ther s always a feelin of self contentment in d struggle 4 lyfe…tat ther s always a unknown happiness in facin d challenges of lyfe….n tat ther s always a satisfaction in bein all by oneself in dis tough thorned world….cuz tat gives u pure pleasure of livin d lyfe…..2 its fullest….lyfe has its own set of ups n downs n if one desnt go through all of ‘em wats d joy in livin lyfe anyway….d way happiness s a part of lyfe, pain s an integral part 2….n of course wen we relish happiness, y shouldnt pain b given d same view…..yeah…..of course we can….cuz at d end, pain s one which leaves us stronger, steadier n in a state wher we can c d real worth of happiness….if we donot face pain how can we realize how beautiful it s 2 b happy….n hence pain deserves a sincere applause….doesnt it….

My pain s increasing min by min….all d medications n efforts seem useless in givin me a relief….bt m not bein sadistic abt it anymore…in fact m enjoyin d pain….cuz soon it s gonna disappear n I ll b back 2 my normal self…but wen m back I ll be stronger den b4, I ll c thins 4m a different view,in which I ll appreciate every small happiness in a deeper way….n I ll love lyfe more than b4….n d credit 4 makin me appreciate lyfe more, goes 2 my pain….

Don really no how 2 xpress dis….but might b m fallin in love wid pain….d way love makes everythin seem starry, pain s makin me c only d beautiful facets of lyfe…..cheers pain….u r makin me fall 4 u….n now I can take u wid my arms wide open….d more u embrace me, d more I feel close 2 d beauty of lyfe…n u deserve all my love n respect….n m happy tat I realize it….might b later than I should ve, but I do….n wanna say it once more…..m fallin 4 u….yeah….pain…m in deep love wid u now….

A PURELY PERSONAL THOUGHT....IT'S MY LIFE....N CHEERS 2 SELF....

Many a tymes I come across a very common remark (or should I say criticism, certainly cant call it a compliment) tat m not realistic….n tat I do thins which makes me happy, rather than which r logical….n tat m kinda wastin my life dis way….at tymes these really do affect me….n I also start lookin my lyfe through their eyes…. I try bein sensible abt d serious issues(it s not tat otherwise I don, but now widout givin it my colored shades ), I start lookin st d problematic factes of lyfe 2 n I start bein unwelcoming 2 d fun element of lyfe….but soon I realize m not happy tat way…it makes me restless, makes me lose d peace of my mind…..n makes me feel lyfe 2 b so complicated….n soon I come back 2 my original self….wher I ve my own small world….wher m happy n contended n which makes me re realize tat lyfe s truly so ahmazin……..

Is lyfe all about d bigi bigi fundas….is lyfe all abt bein logical n realistic…n is lyfe all abt makin it sumthin which u really don understand at d end of d day…. I guess not….doesnt lyfe ve a greater meanin than tat….Is not lyfe beyond d struggle n d pain tat we all go through….actually it is…but we overlook dis truth cuz we all run after thins which r unrealistic in d name of realistic lyfe….we always hanker after thins which jus help us flaunt ‘em but not really help us be happy….we stay in illusion tat we r happy wid those thins but d moment we ask our heart we no we r not….cuz d real happiness doesn’t come 4m those thins….it comes 4m d pure contentment of d heart n dis s really priceless, condition less n much more greater than wat we really believe it 2 b…..heart s one which never lies n never leads us on d wron track….n wen it says tat it s not happy wid wat our minds wants 2 ow, it really speaks d truth….but d mind makes us believe in a diff way….n makes us a slave of d unrealistic reality of bein logical….n bein materialistic n makes us trust on those which r momentary, rather than d real truth of real happiness….

Dis makes me take lyfe d way I do….widout thinkin of justifyin it 2 any1 who wants 4 an explanation…every1 does ve their ryte 2 live d way they wanna live it….so dis feelin of mine s purely MY OWN….I don expect any other 1 2 believe dis, nor do I want ‘em 2 nod their heads 2 support me….it s a pure plain feelin tat I believe on….n every1 who criticizes me 4 takin lyfe d way I do, I hope dis makes enough sense 2 ‘em….n I desperately wish sumday they understand my psychology of letting lyfe take it s own flow….cuz all m doin s havin my own lil space in dis crowd, n it s worth takin d risk…cuz at d end of d day m bein happy….n it doesn’t really matter if others think m missin a lot accordin 2 their measurement…cuz m havin MY LIFE in my own way….in my own terms n conditions…n it makes me feel good….cuz s I said it gives my heart a feelin of pure happiness…..

So here s a toast 4 me n my lyfe…in fact 2 all who lives in their own way….n widout really let others pry in it…cuz every1 has their own set of thins 2 take care of in lyfe…n God hs created each lyfe uniquely n hs made sure tat s/he can handle it in d best way possible….so lets jus say CHEERS 2 LIFE….n most importantly CHEERS 2 SELF………….