It’s been long since I last thought of you….And today, as I play some music that we used to enjoy together, I remember you….Each of the beats takes me back to the moments we chatted over those….tried tuning into those….and dancing into those tunes….And all I realize, I hate you….I hate you for everything…I hate you for all the memories, good and bad… I hate you for all the tears you brought me, both of happiness and sorrow….I hate you for all the time I spent with you, both joyous and painful….
I hate you for making me dream, and then not helping me realize those….I hate you for making me look into life in a different way, and then making me realize that it was just an illusion…I hate you for making me feel like a Princess one day, and the next, making me face the rude world alone….And most importantly I hate you for loving me, and one day making me dip into sheer illusion, not knowing how to come out….
I hate you for making life so difficult for me….I hate you for making me so vulnerable, so weak on knees and so immature….I hate you for intruding into my life without me knowing, and take the central focus in it….I hate you for making me not realize the truths about life….I hate you for making my fairy tale stories come true….I hate you for making my every smallest wish come true….
I hate you for making me know the best feelings on earth….I hate you for making me happy like never before…I hate you for making me see the world in the best way possible…I hate you for making me paint my life with the best of the colours in the prettiest of the canvases. ..
I hate you for making me chase butterflies in dreams…I hate you for letting me play with only lights and never with the shades….I hate you for making me see the blooming flowers and not the dry leaves…I hate you for making me believe that the world is beautiful no matter what….
But, my hatred for you doubles; when I realize one day you made me realize that all you had made me build faith on were nothing but illusions….My hatred multiplies, when I realize it is mere impossible to just come back to the point where it all started; it is impossible to start everything all over again; it is impossible to just let things go and move on; it is impossible to just not recalling any of it all….
Yes, I hate you for everything said and done….Everything that makes me realize how much I was into you…Everything that makes me realize that how much more I will suffer in my coming days….And most importantly, I hate you cuz, I know I will stay this way all my life…Cuz I will always believe that you were real, and everything you did were for real…And no matter what, that will always make my hate you even more…..
PS. To the ones I loved with all my heart and who loved me back....
