Since my memory could reach, I remember never being called as Mama’s darling, but always Dad’s Lil Princess….And Mom never seemed to mind it at all…Every morning, when we used to get ready for our own work, I always used to be by Dad’s side to help him get ready, rather than asking Mom if she needs anything at all….Don’t remember entering the kitchen to even ask Mom if she needed a hand….And every time there is an arguments between Mom and Dad, I was always by my Dad’s side (even if he was wrong), and Mom used to be the one man (or rather one woman) army…But then, as usual Mom never seemed to mind it (or was it just my illusion)….
Days passed by, and I grew up to be strong enough to stay away from Mom and Dad (of course studies and work)….And, then all of a sudden, over one recent conversation, I realized how Mom really felt about those small moments…It so happened that, she called me up one late evening, and asked how my bro (who is in a different city, by the way and I know about him not more than my Mom does) is..As usual it pissed me off, as I always believed that she cares for my bro, much more than she does for me…So, I didn’t stop myself from showing my arrogance and told her that I’m sad cuz she doesn’t care about me….She didn’t say much, said that she would call him up herself and would find out how he was….
By night, the incident was forgotten and me, as usual slept just after reaching back from work….Late night, my phone rang like insane and somehow I woke up from my even insane sleep…It was my Mom…As I picked up the call, she told me that she was not getting sleep and wanted to talk to me…I felt bad for my Mom (who works whole day and supposed to be sleeping deep by this hour of night) and sat down to talk to her….As we spoke, I realized something that gave me pangs in my stomach…The reason why she couldn’t get sleep was me and my idiotic comment earlier that evening….She was in a terrible state as she felt, me really perceive her to be not caring for me…She told me, she might not ask me how I was everyday but she cared for me as much as she cared for my bro….She told me, every time I was into any trouble (the minutest), she always cried thinking how I must be going through….And most importantly, she told me, she knows that I wouldl always be fine, cuz I’m so like her, who faces everything rather than escaping from them and fights things rather than letting them engulf self….As her words left me stunned, she said she would go back to sleep…We hung up..
Those simple words from my Mom at the wee hours of the morning somehow made me go into deep thinking…I tried looking back to all those time when I never cared to look into her eyes how she felt about me…And all I could see now is love and only love…Unconditional pure and sacred love….She never minded when I ignored her, she never minded when I said ‘No I’m not talking to you now’, she never minded when I said ‘Mom, don’t irritate me’, she never minded when the number of calls on her phone from mine is not even 1% of the calls on my dad’s….She always cared for me like I’m her only ‘dream come true’, she always stood by my side when I needed someone to talk to during my growing up days (during which phase I was one of the most irritating kid in the world), and most importantly she always taught me to be me….
I know all Moms are like the sea, who takes up everything, good or bad of their kids and reflects the good aspects like the sea reflects only the clear blue sky, but my Mom is special for me..She is the one, I always look for everywhere (most of the time I don’t even realize it) , she is the one I always want myself to be (and sadly, I never realize that too), and most importantly she is the one I need all my life to speak my heart out….I know, I can’t be even half a percent of her being, but having her in my life is more than I can ever ask for…
I might never say this on face, but Mom, I love you….I wish I could go back to all the time when I didn’t make you feel that I love you more than anyone else, and can reassure you of the same…I wish I could go back to those days, when I was the most impossible kid and can let you know that for you I would be the most manageable one….I wish I could go back to those time, when I could just sleep in your lap and forget about the rest of the world….
Love you Mom….Happy Your Day…
