Well, coming back, after the long sleep, and the considerable amount of lazing around, my mind was completely fresh, and hence after a long warm shower, I made myself my much needed coffee... With the huge mug I came to the balcony, where the scattered raindrops in the wind welcomed me with a chilling lingering on my face... Yes, this is what I needed after all the continuous over work of the last few months... And, I was at peace... I pulled a chair to the edge of the balcony, sat with my legs stretched and started sipping on the steaming coffee... And, yeah, as usual I got into a mode of trance with indulgence (sounds familiar??? Yeah, that’s how I feel every time I look into the beauty of my surroundings and get happy for nothing, cuz for me these simple pleasures are the most craved and indulged moments of life, that can make me go completely insane with happiness)... And, yes... That’s when I witnessed something which I would found out to be one of the most delightful events in a very long period... And, this is what this write up of mine is about...
As I was looking out to the rain-washed surroundings (almost empty roads, less vehicles and hardly anyone at sight), and was turning amused by the prettiness of it, I caught glimpse of a teenage boy (preferably in his mid-teens) crossing the road in hurry... Through the silvery layer of the light drizzle I saw a bouquet of what I figured to be pink lilies in his hand... He crossed the road, turned towards the block where my house is and kept walking in the same speed as he was crossing the road... At the first thought, I was a little put off by the idiocracy of the boy, as it really did look foolish to carry flowers in hand and run in this drizzle, cuz it was in fact very cold outside... But then of course he was on a mission to accomplish I’m sure, and hence looked completely oblivious to what I thought or what I felt... Anyway, by now little curious, my eyes followed his moves, and kept looking at till the time I realized he was heading towards the girls’ hostel that’s at the end of my block... And, yes, my stalking eyes did follow him to the gate of the hostel, and waited there to see what would happen next...
The boy took out a phone from his pocket, dialled somebody and spoke for a minute... As he waited, I saw a girl coming out of the hostel with an orange umbrella in her hand, and stood next to the boy... They hugged for half a minute, the girl took the flower bouquet and the boy left after a couple of minutes... The girl went back inside... As my eyes still stayed on the boy, I saw him turning back once he was some steps away from the gate... The girl was standing on the balcony... They waved at each other, and in the next couple of minutes both of them got disappeared from my vision...
The whole thing happened really quickly... The drizzles were still on, and I was still watching it in my conscious mind... But, in my unconscious one, I was thinking about the teenagers I just saw... May be they’re friends or may be a couple... I wasn’t sure, but what I was sure of is the fact that they were in love... Cuz, the passion I just saw was nothing but pure and innocent love... May be it was some special day for them, or maybe it was just a simple occasion, or maybe there was no reason, but the boy took his chance to get flowers for the girl... And the continuous rain, cold or anything for that matter couldn’t stop him from doing so... Instead of preferring to stay back indoors and enjoy a hot soup or a mug of coffee, making the girl smile seemed more important to him... And, that’s how when the entire world was busy avoiding going out, all this little boy wanted to do was to see his sweetheart, for what, 5 minutes...
And suddenly I was amused... At the same time was thinking about my own teenage years... Life was so much simpler and was so pure were the thoughts and the feelings... And, yeah passion used to be at its best despite of all the odds... I remember those days, when we had gone through similar days too... From the little pocket money that we had got, we used to save for Valentine Day’s roses, or Friendship Day’s bands, or for gifts for those who had touched our hearts... Love was all about those small moments when holding hands used to be an event, hugs used to be the solution for all that seemed destructive, and yeah, just a text with ‘Don’t worry, I’m always with you’ meant the world... Love didn’t imply to expensive gifts and so called future-plans, all it meant was the priceless smiles on his/her face for reasons unknown, all it meant was the stolen stares in middle of a busy class, all it meant were the innocent glances in a crowd of friends, all it meant was the text on the mobile exactly when you missed that person, all it meant was the planning to go on the college trip with the difficultly saved pocket-money only so that you can spend more time with the one you had a crush on, yes, in short all it meant was those innocent feelings that were far and far away from all the complexities of life, all the practicalities of life, all the materialistic ambitions of life and more important than anything, far away from any manipulations... And, now, on today’s date, it’s certainly not the same anymore...
Yes, we’ve grown up, and thus have ‘in a convenient way’ turned matured in terms of the way we look at life... And that implies that we’ve learnt to see life in a much more practical way... And, yes that’s where my problem with the concept of ‘being matured’ sources from... Cuz, at the bottom of my heart I realize by turning matured I also have turned to be manipulative... The innocence that I had while looking at the world is not there in me anymore... And even if I would love to deny this, I honestly can’t... And why do I say so??? Cuz, at this ‘matured’ stage of my life, of course I wouldn’t fall in love with someone without analyzing certain things... Of course I wouldn’t fall in love for the sake of ‘love’ itself... Well, maybe I would, but the chances come down to 5% in the bigger picture... Cuz, now my love would revolve around many other factors along with love... Maybe I would want a secure future with the person, socially and financially, and maybe I’m not wrong if I do so... But then, the moment any other reason than only love is attached to the feeling, does it stay ‘love’ anymore??? Of course doesn’t... And, why only love??? For that matter any other relationship or feelings have got fringes attached to it these days... Nothing stays innocent, pure, and of course in its true state anymore...
The worst part of all that I’m feeling right now is the fact that, despite knowing all of it, despite knowing that I’m not being honest, I don’t want to change it... If I may say so, I certainly can, but I don’t want to... Cuz, at the end of the day, I don’t want to be a victim of my innocent feelings, thus sacrificing on anything that I wish to have... And, so I would definitely choose a mid path, where I’m safe, my feelings stay intact within myself, and yet all that I can be happy with (or seem to be happy with, or may be I assume I can be happy with) are in my access... Such is the desire to be happy, where knowingly or unknowingly I get willing to sacrifice the real source of happiness despite knowing it’s just a concept I’m making myself believe in...
Suddenly the cold wind messed up my hair, and along with it I came back to reality... My coffee had turned cold, and sprinkles of the drizzle had started sitting on the edges of the mug... Lazily I took a sip from the cold coffee... But my mind still kept lingering on the sight of the cute teenagers, and I knew it would keep doing so for some time more... Cuz, somehow I still want to be that care-free teenager like these two, who wouldn’t mind doing anything for the sake of feelings, emotions and at the same time be happy about it... Cuz, somehow I still believe in the innocence of feelings rather than being conscious about the practical implications of the same... Cuz, somehow I still believe the true happiness lies in chasing what’s right as per the heart says, and not as per what the brain says... Yes, I might sound foolish to the materialistic world, and even to myself, but this is true, and that what even my heart knows at its deep down true state...
As I finished the coffee, I smiled at myself, and wished we all stayed kids, and never grew up... Who says puppy love is kiddish, foolish and not true love??? If you ask me it’s the truest and the wisest form of love... Cuz, it doesn’t understand anything than love... It knows how to love without expecting anything back... It creates its own world where only love and emotions prevail, and nothing that’s complicated and manipulative... And, the best part, it knows how to make the other person’s life shine bright no matter what the real world is like... And, what could be better than that??? Cuz as opposed to the world of grown-ups where we’re not sure of the existence of anyone else than ourselves, if atleast a bunch of kids and teenagers happen to exist who think of other’s happiness, life would have anyways turned much prettier, and brighter on any given day...
Cheers to love, to the innocent, crazy but completely honest and true puppy love... It surely makes the world shine...
