Just a while back was listening to a song Afterglow…..every word of it was speaking my mind out….How true it is…..Only in the afterglow of anything and everything we do realize the worth of it….. It is only when we walk down the memory lanes that we realize the good times we experienced….It always happens that the past matters more than the present…..Probably that is why we always want to treasure different moments captured….Probably that is why we always end up building our future on the ground of the past….Cuz once PRESENT turns into PAST we realize how wonderful it was….
People say we should forget the past to start a new beginning….And the very base of it speaks how impactful a past can be….Unless and until one does not forget the past the future seems to be dull and difficult…Why??? Cuz we always end up realizing that the past was so beautiful that to match up with the same the future really need to be extraordinary….And that is how memories influence us to be immersed in them all through….
Memories…..the best of the best when they inspire to look forward for a brighter future….And the worst of the worst if they shadow up the hope of living for the future…..And at this phase of my life it is completely beyond my capability to judge whether my memories are my asset or the biggest barrier on my future dreams…..It is being beyond my control to rescue myself from the shadow of the past memories and every bit of those make me lose myself into a world which I really fail to recognize….At times they make me feel proud to have experienced them…..and at the same time they make me realizes that so much have changed by now and this realization brings some silent tears without my knowledge…..And I end up losing myself in their hands……….
At times I look for a way to escape from the memories….but they are so overpowering that they have covered me up like the blanket of fog a winter morning….like the shadow that never wanna leave us behind…..And it makes me helpless…………I go weak on my knees….And jus wish things never changed…. Nothing pains worse than the realization that things could have turned out the way they were……..And when it happens that one never wanted a change at the first place, the pain doubles…..
Time changes…..situations change…..and also the people around you do…But the essence of their presence never does…..In fact every possible related experience takes us back to those moments which we shared together….A piece of music, a fragment of fragrance…..and touch of a familiar breeze…….all of them keep taking us back to the moments we have lived before….And they do not let us come out of those moments….
As I put these feelings down I realize how much I long to go back to those moments….The moments shared with my near and dear ones…the small unreasoned talks….the small arguments….the aimless walks in the middle of the nights...all of these had spiced up the life to get some unforgettable memories created……Still the fragrance of the coffees are fresh on my nostrils….still the unbearable taste of the half cooked foods are fresh on my tongue….and still the chilled evenings are fresh to feel them….Yet things are not the same anymore….And that is how every bit of those real happenings have turned into only memories….And however my soul screams for those to come back to me, the reality is they are nothing but long gone past……
There is no end to the pain that I have been experiencing cuz of my memories….And also there is no cure to escape from those……And the helplessness makes me suffocate to the core….Just keeping the hope alive that someday…perhaps someday my walks through the memory lanes will come to an end and I would start walking towards my future……..And I wish that happens soon….Cuz I do not want to just live in the afterglow of anything and everything…..and also do not want my memories to haunt me everywhere I go…..And yes…My memories have become haunted shadows after me, blocking every way towards my future…….
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