It was Independence Day yesterday, and everywhere I see, everyone is expressing their love for the country, love for the people and the happiness on the historic event that happened 65 long (or very short??) years ago… I can see million posts on almost all the social networking sites wishing one another a very happy day, I can see the tri-colour flying in every possible location, I can see huge hoardings congratulating the entire nation on being able to call ourselves a free nation, I can see various organizations organising events on the occasion, I can see million articles on newspapers quoting political leaders addressing the nation and of course I can see a million colourful programmes on various channels that boast about how happy, progressive and well-advanced we are, and not-to-forget what an amazing future we’re moving towards to… And, if I actually decide to ignore the reality that in real exists around me, I should be really happy, for, being able to be a part of the glorious country, and hence I have every reason to be proud of the society that I am in… But apparently, this is far from the truth, and in a true sense, I’m ashamed that I was born in a place that boasts about all the fake-ness, that boasts about being an arrogant lot of indifferent crowd, that takes pride in the fact that they contradict themselves in occasions more than they can ever think of, and yet they’re so very ignorant about these facts that, one who shows a little awareness actually looks like a fool…
Well, right at this point, I sound like an anti-social, anti-India, anti-progressive (I laugh as I type this phrase), and anti-independence little creep… And, I’m sure if this goes out on any public media, I might land up in some terrible situation where no one would be able to help me save myself… And if I’m unlucky (and bad luck decides to smile wry at me), there would be a lot of mishap getting created around my post… Might be it could turn into a political issue too, one gang saying that I’m influenced by their opponent, one saying I’m a spokesperson to their opponent, and so on and so forth…. Yeah, what not… Do you think I’m dreaming… Hell, no… Anyone with a little knowledge on Indian politics, management and society as a whole, and especially how the society works, would know that I’m actually talking sense… Yeah, India is a proud place where anything and everything is possible…
Well, contrary to what I sound at this point, and to be frank, I love my country too… In my school days I was known for writing about the country so well that everyone thought I had taken some special classes to know the length and breadth of the country… But the fact was, I truly loved the place I was born in, and somehow I had developed an intense love, affection and respect for the land… But when I grew up, I could see a different picture of the country I was so much in love with… I know, it’s a place where ‘Unity exists in diversity’, but then, it’s also a place where every minute there’s some or the other negative event taking someone’s life away from him… On one side if this is a place where everyone can claim to be a part of the diverse yet happy society, on the other side, this is the same place where one needs to be afraid every minute lest it’s his last moment in life… And, that’s how I’m in a fix, and thus not being able to decide whether I should feel proud of being a part of this land, or should weep by a riverside thinking why on earth did I choose to be born on this particular place… Nevertheless, life moves on… And, so even I move on with my daily life, without complaining about anything much, rather trying to adjust to the society I’m in, at any given time…
But, the reason why, I’m so negative about celebrating Independence Day is the fact that, at this moment, I truly don’t feel that I’m a part of a free land… And, do I have enough reason to justify it??? Well, yes… I have more than enough reasons to do so… There’s so much happening around me these days that I’m bound to feel negative about calling myself free… Freedom has turned into a term which looks glorious only in black and white, and not in real… I have freedom nowhere… If I want to raise a voice against anything I would definitely be killed (at least that’s happening around me so far)…
Well, let’s forget about these bigger issues; let’s see what happens on a day-to-day basis… Oh! Did I tell you that I’m a girl??? Well, yeah, that squeezes my freedom even more… I have no freedom to go and sit in the park in the corner, cuz some stray dog-alike human beings might come and rape me… I can’t wear my short clothes and walk on roads, cuz some dirty leech-alike creeps would come and try molesting me… I can’t fight back anyone eve-teasing me, cuz I’m a poor girl and if I do I would be treated like shit… And, to put a cherry on the top, I have hardly any faith in the security system of the country… And why not??? Here, the security system itself boasts about being one of the most corrupt ones in the world… And, yeah, so do I see any freedom for myself?? Of course not…
And, when time passes by then I lose my freedom even more… Yeah, if I’m marriage ready (as soon as I turn 25 plus)I would be forced to waste no more time with myself, rather to get married… And, if I happen to fall in love with someone from a different religion, caste or community, I would be forced to part ways from him, and no matter how much I suffer and protest I would be forced to get married to someone who is perfect for me as per the social norms, and even if I die of suffocation in that association, I can never leave… So where’s my freedom…
Well, I don’t want to sound like a social worker, nor like a feminist and neither like someone who fights hard against the powerfuls to bring in huge social change… All I know is that, in this country we’re missing even fundamental rights to live, and then we boast about freedom… How ironical…
If I ignore the mammoth issues of life, and look at having a normal simple life, I can’t do that… What’s more, yesterday when the whole country was celebrating Independence Day, I was sitting in a corner of my room, fearing to go out… The reason?? Well, there were lot of rumours (I seriously wish, they’re just pure rumours and nothing more than that), that there were red alert in and around this Southern city, and we, the outsiders are directly or indirectly made to get out of the place as soon as it is possible… And what caused this??? This is nothing but the aftermath of a riot that had taken place back in my home-state Assam, within various ethnic groups… And, the situation was so terrible there that it had turned (or made to turn) into huge political issue, and also got christened into communal riots… No one knows the actual facts, and the truth… But who’s suffering now??? Of course the ones who were by no means responsible for the entire episode… The morning newspaper brings the news of thousands of students and working professionals fleeing from the city back to their home-towns… What does that imply??? It surely tells us that we by no means have any freedom… Our constitution says that an Indian can live in any place inside its boundary as per his wish… But, is that the fact in today’s picture?? Well, of course not… Apparently we don’t have the basic freedom of following what our instincts say… Then, why are we celebrating independence???
Yeah, every bit of what’s happening around me pains me, it bruises my soul, and along with every bit of increased pain, my faith in the celebration of independence decreases… I’m shattered to see how typical we’re behaving… I have friends from all communities, religions, castes and regions… But, at this point of time, I don’t know what would be the right thing to do… I know, I myself is not the least of discriminating kind, and I never believe in these sort of biases, but am I in a situation to believe that even others around me are not… Can I blindly say that the friend who happens to be my best friend and hails from a different religion would stand by me in my crisis at this point??? Even if I want to believe so at the bottom of my heart, yet I can’t ascertain myself… Such is the negativity of the situations that are being created… And, certainly the ones suffering are the ones that belong to a neutral and innocent crowd…
I’m afraid… Of getting out even at as early as ten at night… Of taking an auto or a cab alone to work… Of talking aloud in a crowded place… Of passing by the place where I know other community crowd resides… Of picking up a cold drink from the bakery at the corner… Of picking up my breakfast from the departmental store… In fewer words, of doing anything that’s capable of drawing attention of anyone stranger… Yeah, such is the state I’m in, at this point… That says that I’m actually afraid to live… I’m afraid of breathing lest that causes others aware of my presence… And in this situation, do I need to celebrate Independence Day??? Do I have freedom and independence???
I know, this note of mine is and would stay as nothing but a relentless outburst of the anger, anguish, pain, frustration and helplessness inside me… Yeah, I’m angry… I’m anguished… I’m in pain… I feel frustrated… I feel helpless… Yeah, there’s no way to make myself understand that I live in a free country… Free of what?? Free from whom??? Isn’t it just an illusion that we’re free??? It is... And, yeah, that’s why I refuse to get involved in any celebrations that talk about freedom, independence and of being content… Instead, I would like to pray the unknown, and wish for a day where freedom would actually exist… I know a mere prayer does nothing to the corrupted and sadistic society, but I would do it only for the fact that, it makes me feel a bit safe, and also makes me believe that even if the world around me conspires to kill my inner faith, somehow I should still keep it up… Cuz, like every beginning has an end, these horrors and terrors would also see their end, and thus would bring a tomorrow where we would actually know and realize what real independence is…
And till then, let’s keep fighting for the basic freedom to live…
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